what they *really* want for Valentine’s
A cynic might say Valentine’s was another capitalist scheme to get you to part with your hard earned cash. And, if you lose sight of its intention, they might be right. For me, Valentine’s is an excuse to tell your favourite people that you love them. And, tacky teddies or not, I think that's something worth doing.
Oh, and the only other thing worth noting is that neither sex nor relationship status appears within this list, and that was absolutely intentional. As we’re all aware, your genitals don’t determine your preferences and platonic love is just as important as romantic love, and should be celebrated as such. Please note, this article includes some affiliate links.
That being said, we’re in a cost of living crisis: even the smallest of celebrations can feel like a cause for financial concern. This gift guide was written to act like a set of prompts. Sure there are specific products listed, but the main focus is on the idea, and then it’s up to you how much you’d like to invest. Because, when it comes down to it, the best gifts aren’t the most expensive, but the most thoughtful.
“For me, Valentine’s is an excuse to tell your favourite people that you love them.”
Flowers
Flowers are an obvious choice, and for good reason. But something strange happens around Valentine’s that means people forget personal preference in favour of the predetermined prescription. PSA: you don’t need to buy red roses for Valentine’s. You don’t even need to buy red flowers for Valentine’s. If you’re buying flowers for your favourites this Valentine’s, buy *their* favourites, and if you don’t know their favourite type of flower you can always buy them flowers based on their favourite colours.
When it comes to buying flowers, you’ve got a couple of options. You can pop to your local florist. You can order a bouquet online from the likes of Bloom and Wild or Freddie’s Flowers. Or, you can build a bouquet with supermarket flowers. If you’re building a bouquet yourself all you need to remember is: pick a feature flower (something that will stand out), filler flowers (smaller flowers to add volume) and greenery (some foliage that will add contrast and structure to your bouquet). If you want to go the extra mile, wrap your bouquet in brown paper and tie it all together with string. It’s a small detail but will effortlessly elevate your hard work.
And, if you really want to treat them, you can gift your flowers in a vase. That way, they get something to enjoy on the day and something to keep forever.
Care package
Arguably another obvious one, but when made using a person’s favourites, care-packages will always feel thoughtful. There are plenty of websites that offer prepared packages or hampers, and while these might work for corporate Christmas presents when it comes to your favourite people these risk falling flat. Building a care package for your favourites doesn’t necessarily mean lots of money and lots of effort, I’d say there are 2x ways to approach it: you either do a little of everything, or a lot of their favourite thing.
A little of everything is probably what we’re more familiar with and here’s a broad formula you can work with: something to eat (this could be a flapjack bite bag or their favourite packet of crisps), something to drink (this could be a bag of coffee beans or a bottle of wine), something that they’d see as a ‘treat’ (it could be a foot mask or a candle), something for their day-to-day life (this could be functional, like a reusable cup, or something sentimental like a keyring from a special holiday) and something entertaining (this could be a good book, a magazine or a voucher to rent a film).
The second option requires a little less effort, but a little more thought. When I say a lot of their favourite things, I mean a lot. If they are obsessed with chocolate buttons, don’t buy them 3 bags of chocolate buttons, for this to have a full effect you’ll need at least 10. If they love Irn Bru don’t buy them a multiple-pack, buy them 4 multi-packs. You get the gist. The reason I say this requires slightly more thought is because if you’re buying them a lot of something you better know they love it. 32 cans of Irn Bru is only endearing if they love drinking it.
Finally, don’t worry about spending your money on a hamper or basket to make this care package have an impact. Pop it in a gift bag, a nice paper bag, or - if you want to make the bag a part of the gift - a reusable bag.
Food
For many, myself included, food is love. Nothing says ‘I love you’ quite like a home-cooked meal, a well-timed takeaway or a surprise dinner out. Like flowers, you’ve got a few options as to how you’d like to do it, and like flowers don’t fall for the predetermined Valentine’s specials when it comes to food. PSA: you don’t need to buy chocolates in a heart-shaped box on Valentine’s. In fact, it doesn’t need to be something sweet, or heart-shaped at all.
You could organise a dinner out, or a dinner in. You can pop to your local bakery, butcher or deli to pick up their favourite bits. You could order something online, like chunky cookies from Creme or doughnuts from CrossTown. Or, you can always make something yourself. It doesn’t need to be anything ‘fancy’, it’s the fact that you took the time to make something that counts. It might even say more about you if you’re not comfortable in the kitchen, but made something anyway. If you’re worried about what to make, stick to something you’ve made before or something attainable that you know they’d love, be that a banana bread or bombay roll.
Quality time
It’s one of the 5 love languages for a reason. It seems cruel that life can get in the way of spending quality time with your favourite people, so Valentine’s is the perfect opportunity to make time especially for them. Whether it’s a remote movie night with your long distance bestie or arranging a babysitter to enjoy a baby-free evening with your partner, making time for your nearest and dearest will always be time well spent.
This is probably the broadest category of ‘gift’ so it really is up to you to do with it as you see fit, even that’s making time to do absolutely nothing. As long as you’re doing it together, you’re doing it right. One of my favourite gifts to give, Valentine’s day or not, is an Adventure Day. Sounds like a big deal, when in reality it just means pairing an activity with a meal to make a day out. For so many of us quality time requires effort, so sometimes the greatest gift you can give is removing the mental load necessary to organise it. For me, that means choosing a place that you’ve not been to that isn’t too far away, plan an activity (it could be National Trust Garden, gallery or walk) and book a restaurant nearby. Previously I’ve organised a day out to Wardour Castle followed by lunch at Pythouse Kitchen Garden.
If you’ve been sent this article by someone you love, it’s probably their subtle way of saying ‘plan a date’.
Photograph
Don’t leave your favourite pictures of your favourite people to die in the depths of your phone gallery. This one feels like it should be obvious but, understandably, it’s a habit we’ve fallen out of. So, this Valentine’s honour your favourite pictures and get them printed, it doesn’t have to be lots, it could just be the one. And, if you want to go one step further, choose a frame to put it in or some cute magnet to pop them on the fridge.
Hand-written card
When it comes to Valentine’s day, gifts are absolutely not mandatory, nor an expectation. Just reaching out to one of your favourite people to tell them you love them is enough. And while a meaningful DM or uninterrupted phone call are always welcome, going to the effort of finding a card that reflects them and putting your thoughts in writing is often the best way to mark the occasion.
Thankfully, greetings cards feel like one of the more progressive areas when it comes to Valentine’s day. So whether you’re celebrating Valentine’s or Galentines, there’s plenty of options for you to choose from.
